Jim Cramer Declares Depression Over; Millions Panic

It's opposite day for Andy and the rest of us who get that Cramer is a pathetic joke and if he says it's going to be sunny tomorrow, you'd better bring an umbrella.

From Andy Borowitz (borowitzreport.com):

CNBC financial pundit Jim Cramer declared the global depression "over" on his "Mad Money" program on Thursday, causing widespread panic around the world and sparking the largest stock sell-off in history.

Just moments after Mr. Cramer delivered his upbeat prediction, stock prices went into an epic free-fall unprecedented in the annals of modern trading as millions of investors rushed for the exits.

"Cramer says the depression is over!" one Wall Street trader was heard shouting on the NYSE floor. "Run for your lives!"


Seemingly oblivious to the panic he had caused, Mr. Cramer appeared on his program again on Friday and predicted that North Korea would never launch a long-range missile.

read more | digg story

blog comments powered by Disqus